


in your arms, the world was mine

by v_ichigo_v



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: M/M, but hey kindergarten teacher takao anyone?, i guess this is another attempt at angst, uhh doctor midorima i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-06
Updated: 2015-12-06
Packaged: 2018-05-02 15:40:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5253788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/v_ichigo_v/pseuds/v_ichigo_v
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was an understatement to say that Takao Kazunari was infatuated with Midorima Shintarou.</p><p>Well, Kazunari wouldn’t say that he was just, so, so, so in love with Shin-chan, and he wants to do all those kind of sappy things with him, like holding hands, and giving him hugs, and cuddling, and all that gross stuff that he can’t help but daydream about sometimes.</p><p>Oh right, he does want to do all those things with him</p>
            </blockquote>





	in your arms, the world was mine

**Author's Note:**

> ahh yes, happy bday for the beautiful aina!! have a happy birthday, you best piece of non-edible chicken!! //bawk bawk
> 
> //stutters incoherently No i did not incorporate kagehina into this, this is a midotaka fic what are you talking about //sweats

 

_“Even though I can’t tell you that I love you, I love you.”_

 

 

It was an understatement to say that Takao Kazunari was infatuated with Midorima Shintarou.

 Well, Kazunari wouldn’t say that he’s just, so, so, so in love with Shin-chan, and that he’d want to do all those kind of sappy things with him, like holding hands, and giving him hugs, and cuddling, and all that gross stuff that he can’t help but daydream about sometimes.

 Oh right, he _does_ want to do all those things with him

 (And probably mind-blowing _you-know-what_ , but that can come later. Kazunari is a patient man.)

 Well, if he can wait six years, he might be able to wait it out a few more.

 He’s never considered for it to actually happen, like Shin-chan and him, but people can dream, right?

 Sometimes, he thinks he should go find someone knew. He’s an outgoing, and sometimes horny, twenty-one year old, and the world only has so much to offer!  Well, he has to admit, going to college with Shin-chan is probably one of the best times he’s ever had in his life.

 (Even if Shin-chan never admitted that he only didn’t want to go to parties because he disliked ‘public displays of affection’.)

 (But Shin-chan went with him anyway, how cute was that.)

 College with Shin-chan did have it’s perks, as normal. Notes with good quality and back-up pencils that had ‘good luck’ on them (Only Shin-chan would have good luck pencils.).

 But basketball? Basketball was amazing. They had everything, and they won a lot of games with new people. As usual, it took a while for Shin-chan to warm up to them, but as always, he did, and it was Shuutoku all over again, except no random flying pineapples, you know.

 Kazunari will probably admit that he actually misses that. Not the flying pineapples, the senpai. It’s not like he’s lost touch with Miyaji and the others, but he just doesn’t have time to really meet up with them.

 He’ll admit, he came to this school from a basketball scholarship with Shin-chan, and he can’t help but dream that they’ll be together, on the court someday, and Kazunari will pass the basketball to Shin-chan, and Shin-chan will--

 “Takao,” Shin-chan barks. “Are you even listening?”

 Kazunari coughs. “Of course I am, Shin-chan.”

 Shin-chan scowls, but Kazunari smiles. “Anyway,” he says, falling into his mattress. “What did you want to tell me?”

 “Are you trying to subtly tell me that you weren’t listening? This entire time?”

 “Nope,” Kazunari says with a laugh, balancing one of his text books he’s supposed to be studying from on his head. “Tell me now.”

 Shin-chan flushes. “Well,”  he says, stumbling a little over his words, and pushing the rim of his glasses higher up on his nose like he usually does when he’s embarrassed of some sort. “I wanted to tell you that…” he mumbles.

 When a couple more seconds pass without a word coming out from Shin-chan’s mouth, Kazunari’s mouth quirks up. “Sometime today, Shin-chan?”

 Shin-chan scowls again, and Kazunari snorts with laughter. “I have a date today.”

 The textbook drops from his head to his lap. Kazunari pauses, because he doesn't know what to say, honestly.

 “What?” Kazunari says slowly.

 Shin-chan, thankful for the absence of teasing for obvious reasons to Kazunari), sighs. “As you know,” he says, looking straight at Kazunari. “My parents do have the dream of wanting me to become successful one day, and they signed me up for medical school-”

 The moment the word ‘medical school’ is mentioned, Kazunari feels a wave of panic flood up from head to toe. “Medical school?” Kazunari asks, incredulous. “What does that have to do with--” He stops, realization hitting him quickly.

 “Your parents are making you marry a woman…” he says, voice thick. “Just to be successful? And medical school? Shin-chan, what about basketball? Don’t you know how much potential we could have? What about basketball?”

  _What about me?_ is added silently to his last words, but Shin-chan doesn’t seem to notice.

 “Takao,” Shin-chan says. “You do realize that it is a waste of time to pursue something like that. We have our future ahead of us after all--”

 “Our future?” Kazunari says with a bitter laugh. “You mean your future, right?”

 He shrugs in response, and somewhere in his heart, something aches. “I apologize for that usage, but yes. I have my future planned out for me.”

 Kazunari can’t believe this. “And you choose to tell me this now?” he demands. “When the date is tomorrow? When’s the wedding, huh?”

 “I apologize for the late announcement,” Shin-chan says, not looking sorry in the least. “And the wedding will take place after I graduate.”

 “After college?” Kazunari says, voice cracking.  “At age twenty two, you really want to go to medical school, have a wife, and--” He can’t finish his sentence, because he knows what the answer is.

 Shin-chan’s lips pursued. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I did not think you would take this personally.”

 “Of course I would take it personally!” Kazunari says, voice rising. “We got into this college together, because of basketball. You’re telling me, that you’re throwing away all this just so you can please your parents?”

 He doesn’t remember the last time he’s ever been this upset at Shin-chan. Has he ever been upset at Shin-chan, even?

 Well look, there’s more evidence that proves how whipped he is.

 “Takao, that is enough,” Shin-chan says roughly.

 No, it is not, and it will never be enough. He feels ugly and selfish, but is Shin-chan really going to leave his opinion out on this?  “Did basketball even matter to you?”

 “Of course it did,” Shin-chan says, voice dangerously rising as well. Kazunari can’t bring himself to even care.

 “Then why are you giving it up?” Kazunari asks. “For a wife, and to be successful? You can be successful through basketball. Why else would we even go to a college that scouted us, and not try for a future with basketball in it?”

 Shin-chan actually looks guilty this time. “I’m sorry-”

 “ _Why_ ,” Kazunari says, voice choked. “do you keep saying ‘sorry’.”

 “Because I am sorry,” Shin-chan says firmly. “And I thought you would be supportive with my ambitions--”

 Kazunari has always been told that the word, ‘sorry’, is the most useless word in the world. He never really believed them, because he’s always thought of sorry used for things you didn’t mean to do.

 But he’s not so sure now.

 “Not your ambitions, Shin-chan,” he protests. “It’s what your parents want. What do you want?”

 Shin-chan’s eyes flash dangerously. “This conversation is over,” he says stiffly, and with that, he covers himself with blankets, and turns away from Kazunari to sleep.

 Kazunari can’t believe it. Shin-chan is leaving him. For A wife and going away to be successful’, or whatever success was in Shin-chan’s eyes. Which makes him feel worse, because he’s not even sure anymore if basketball was ever success in Shin-chan’s eyes anyway when it obviously was to Takao.

 And that really fucking hurts.

 Kazunari’s preparing to go to bed himself when he can hear Shin-chan mumble something under the covers.

 “Did you really think we’d actually become successful through basketball?”

Kazunari presses his lips together in frustration, not bothering to even answer him. Of course he did. Why else would he come to this college with Shin-chan, why else would he room with him, when Shin-chan was such a clean freak.

He wants it. He wants it so bad, and just when he thought that maybe, they could, it disappears from his grasp.

 Because Shin-chan wants something else. 

Kazunari feels replaced, and that really fucking sucks.

 When he can hear Shin-chan’s breath level out a little, and he is sure that he is asleep, Kazunari responds to Shin-chan’s last question.

 “Of course I did.”

 

oOo

 

It’s even worse when he meets her.

 She is so perfect, and she just shines. She has hella nice legs, and a good rack, but Kazunari doesn’t bother really looking at them (But he does catch Shin-chan spying on her legs.)

 (If Kazunari had nice legs, maybe Shin-chan would stare at them too.)

 (Actually, Kazunari doesn’t really want to think about that, at all.)

 He would make some kind of perverted joke for the sake of ruining Shin-chan’s dignity temporarily, but it is not the time, and also, if he does, his heart just might shatter into a thousand pieces.

 Her name is Tomoyo, and she has beautiful, chestnut colored hair, and very pretty brown eyes(Everyone is Japan has brown eyes, so he admits he doesn’t have much to compare with.) Kazunari thought she looked like a doll, really, with her figure, her face, and her pale, snow-like skin. She’s as dainty as some big-shot company’s daughter should be.

 She’s everything Kazunari’s not, and just thinking about that makes his insides shrivel up and die.

 And the worst thing? He can’t even hate her. She is just so fucking nice, like, he didn’t even know that anyone could be that nice, honestly.

 Like when the barista accidentally screwed up his drink (who screws up a white chocolate mocha anyway, psh.), she actually offered to buy him a new one.

 Out of all the girls he’s ever met, none of them would ever do that. He’s had enough experience with them to know that it’s a fake move.

 She’s got a soft voice, but her laugh is like a bell maybe, and sure, Kazunari may sound like a love-struck fool now, but catching all the details of her good points may distract Kazunari from the idea that this woman might make Shin-chan even more happy than he does.

 Oh wait.

 Well, it was worth a damn try.

 Kazunari hates to admit it, but he actually gets along with her. She’s got some sarcasm, which makes it so much easier for her to tease Shin-chan when they actually get- Holy shit, what is he thinking, he is going to die.

 That noon, they take turns teasing Shin-chan, and he hates to admit that he’s actually enjoying it a little. But thinking about Shin-chan living with her, with a kid, and with a medical degree, and with a big house all for his kid, and his grandkids, and his great-grand kids, and his dog, or maybe a cat, and--

 “Takao,” Shin-chan cuts in. “You haven’t said anything for a while.”

 Tomoyo gives him a worried look. “If you’re not feeling well-” she starts.

 “I’m fine,” Kazunari says with a small laugh, sipping from his newly bought white chocolate mocha.

 As good as Kazunari can read Shin-chan, Shin-chan read him just as well. “Takao, are you sure?”

 Kazunari gives a small smirk as a response. “Worrying about me, mother?”

 Tomoyo giggles at that, and Shin-chan reddens. “That was not necessary.” he mutters under his breath.

 Kazunari just grins widely, but once they break eye contact with him, the smile fades away. It didn’t right to really intrude on this. Shin-chan brought him here to show him that Tomoyo wasn’t all that bad. And she isn’t.

 Maybe coming here was a mistake.

 No, it was a huge mistake. Meeting the future wife of the guy you’re in love with; that’s a fun experience said no one ever.

 And even so, he feels like some kind of third wheel. They seem to be hitting it off fine. Kazunari probably assumes that they’ve met before, and this is just a meeting to get Kazunari’s approval, which doesn’t seem like it at the moment, because as of right now, Tomoyo is giggling even more, and Shin-chan is turning red.

 Whether it’s from the fact that leg-boob lady(Official nickname for Tomoyo, it should be safe as long as he doesn’t say it aloud, or even worse, in front of Shin-chan.) is very pretty, or the fact that he’s having fun, Kazunari has never seen Shin-chan blush and smile at the same time.

 His chest starts to ache.

 And yet, Kazunari is still looking at them. It’s not like he’s some kind of masochist or something, but he can’t help but think that maybe Shin-chan is right, and maybe he should marry her, and have like ten children and twenty grandchildren.

 Something is pricking at the corner of his eye, and he swipes it away quickly, hoping nobody notices.

 And they don’t.

 Because they’re...having fun.

  _Why doesn’t Shin-chan ever show that face to me?_ Kazunari has to ask himself this because he is currently questioning whether he likes to suffer or not. This is making him feel terrible, and there's this sticky feeling that felt good before, when he was teasing Shin-chan earlier, but it doesn’t have that warm feeling anymore. It feels thick and it’s so uncomfortable, Kazunari stands up abruptly from his chair.

 “Sorry,” Kazunari says, because he really is. “I, uh, need some fresh air.”

 Tomoyo nods in understanding while Shin-chan seems to get that he’s leaving, and he nods his head. Then he turns back to Tomoyo to continue where they left off.

 Kazunari never seems to accept the fact that this is what breaks his heart the most.

 

oOo

 

It’s only when he gets back home when he realizes that in two months, there will be no more Oha Asa commercials at 7 am, no more tripping on random lucky items Shin-chan bought that morning, and no more basketball.

 

Ever.

 

_“I’m sorry that I’ve just realized that the only thing I ever gave you was scars in your heart.”_

 

“You left,” Shin-chan says when he comes back. “Why?”

 Kazunari gives him a small smile. “You guys seemed to be having fun without me anyway.”

 Bitterness seems into his tone without him realizing, and it makes him wince.

 Shin-chan frowns in response, and so does Kazunari because, _how dumb can you get, can’t you see that I’m in fucking love with you?_

 “You didn’t seem so well earlier,” Shin-chan says, with that tone he gets when he’s embarrassed. Kazunari should feel touched, but he can’t expect to feel anything at this point. “Have you recovered from this afternoon.”

 “I’m fine,” Kazunari says, waving it off. “Anyway, how was she? I saw you staring at her legs,” he says with a small wiggle of his eyebrows and a smirk.

 It’s the least he can do anyway.

 Shin-chan flushes and he lifts the rim of his glasses up on his nose. Kazunari wonders if Tomoyo noticed that. That he does that when he’s embarrassed.

 She probably did.

 “Do you even like her?” Kazunari can’t help but asking, and Shin-chan gives the hesitant shake of his head.

 “She’s pretty,” Shin-chan supplies, but Kazunari shakes his head.

 “That’s not an answer~” he singsongs, but he doesn’t laugh like he always does when Shin-chan scowls.

 “I haven’t really liked anyone,” Shin-chan mumbles. “Ever.”

 Kazunari can feel his heart stumble a little.

 “Not…” Kazunari pauses. “Anyone?”

 Shin-chan thinks about it for a moment, and Kazunari leans forward a little, anticipating his answer like the sorry, pining figure he is. But then, he shakes his head. “I don’t believe so.”

 Yeah, this is definitely unhealthy.

 “Well,” Kazunari says. “Maybe you’ll find some love in her.”

 Shin-chan shrugs. “Maybe.”

 Kazunari sometimes questions the fact that Shin-chan would actually do the do with Tomoyo just so he could get an heir, or something. He probably wouldn’t, but now that he thinks about it, what does he know about Shin-chan anyway? They looked so good together today, too.

 His heart feels so heavy.

 Kazunari will admit. When Shin-chan paused at ‘Anyone’, he was hoping that it would be ‘you’ that came out of his mouth, rather than ‘I don’t believe so’.

 But at the same time, he feels so utterly conflicted. Shin-chan doesn’t like anyone, or at the moment, and maybe he stands a chance. Early bird gets the worm, right?

 But then he remembers that just in a few months, Shin-chan will be marrying leg-boob lady(No, Kazunari is not using the nickname to degrade her just a little bit in his mind.) and telling him would break their friendship even more.

 All the years of binding, talking, and sleeping over is now  being shattered by some rich lady that has nice legs.

 Kazunari doesn’t get a wink of sleep that night. But at least he gets some thoughts in before he forces himself to get up that morning.

 In class, they have to answer some questions for a student survey. Kazunari doesn’t even remember what he put on it.

 After all, he figures that he’s done a good amount of thinking the night before anyway.

 

oOo

 

“So,” Miyaji says, placing both his elbows on the table. “Midorima is getting married.”

 Kazunari nods. “Yeah.”

 Funny how they met right after Kazunari wishes they stayed in contact. It was a good thing that he still had his number back from club.

 Miyaji narrows his eyes. “Are you gonna be okay, even?”

 Kazunari shrugs a little. “Who knows.”

 Miyaji lets out a loud sigh, and Kazunari wishes he could do the same. Instead, he adds it to his growing bottle of hurt and waits for Miyaji to say something, anything.

 “Why are you doing this,” Miyaji asks. “Do you seriously like to suffer, or.”

 Kazunari shrugs again. “I dunno.”

 Miyaji goes silent for a second. “God damn it, I wish I had a fucking pineapple. This isn’t like you, Takao.”

 “Well there’s nothing I can do about it,” Kazunari says with a laugh, and then there’s a sudden pang of pain in his chest, so he stops.

 Miyaji shakes his head. “You can’t even smile properly, what has this turned into?”

 Kazunari can’t help it; he puts his face into his hands. “I don’t know,” he says. He hates that his voice sounds a little wobbly, but who the fuck cares, it’s Miyaji, and he sure as hell doesn’t.

 “Tell him,” Miyaji suggests. “At his wedding.”

 Kazunari stares at him. “You seriously want me to die.”

“Not like that,” Miyaji protests. “Just...tell him, and get over it. Move on. That’s the best thing you can do. Maybe wish him best of luck for the future, I don’t fucking know, okay. I get that you guys are best buds and all, but what’s worse; living your whole life knowing that Midorima never knew, or living your life with a little regret, but having actual happiness? And you are not happy, Takao. Not as of right now, you ain’t.”

 He’s right. Kazunari wasn’t happy.

 Has he even smiled these past few weeks? He doesn’t think so. Kazunari lets out a soft groan.

 Miyaji gives him a pitying look. “Well, do what you gotta do, I guess.”

 “This,” Kazunari says, stopping to fix his shuddery voice. “This really wasn’t how it was supposed to go.”

 Miyaji says nothing to that, but pats him on the back nonetheless.

 At least no more flying pineapples.

 Of course there would be no flying pineapples. Flying pineapples would only ever happen if Shin-chan was here with him.

 

oOo

 

Shin-chan asks Kazunari to be his best man that afternoon.

 With a watery smile, he says yes.

 Shin-chan asks him what's wrong.

 He lies through his teeth and tells him that he's just happy for him.

 He's not sure if Shin-chan believes him, but at that point, he can't bring himself to even care.

 

oOo

 

He often wonders whether it'd be cruel to tell Shin-chan that he loves him on his wedding day. But then again, it's not like Shin-chan likes him anyway, so there's a small part of him that says that there's no harm in it at all.

 He’s grudgingly appreciative when he sees the perfect food, and all the chairs are arranged perfectly without a flaw in place. There’s even a chandelier, and the carpet is red, and soon, girls will be walking on it, throwing flowers, and Tomoyo will be walking up their with her dad, and Shin-chan, he’ll be up there too, with his disatisfied face of his..

 Seeing Shin-chan and Tomoyo smile at each other, it makes him think that maybe they would be happy together and stuff. They'd cuddle, and they'd do all those things that Kazunari has been dreaming to do with Shin-chan for more than half a decade.

 He watches them kiss, Shin-chan, stiff, as usual, but he’s a little too broken to laugh. But it’s okay, because he’s still at Shin-chan’s side, even if it’s not the way he wants it to be. He can’t afford to be selfish at a moment like this.

 Which brings him back to questioning himself whether this was even the right decision. He’s leaving after the wedding. It’s not like it wasn’t hard. He secretly started to pack things up when Shin-chan was gone, and he hopes that he will just assume that all his things have been packed when he sees the room so barren.

 He’s prepared for this really. Shin-chan will be too busy talking to people, people that will contribute to his so-called success, and he won’t see Kazunari slip away after a while. And then Kazunari will go far away, far, far away, where he can get a new start and finally begin living the way he wants to, even if Shin-chan’s not there with him.

 He tries not to be too upset by this, because he knows that Shin-chan will be happy, but he is. And it’s just so unfair, because it just doesn’t break off evenly.

 It’s his turn to make a speech about Shin-chan, and he walks up there, with heaviness in his step.

 “Well, I certainly did not expect this to happen so quickly,” Kazunari says with a joking tone, and some of the weight on his chest disappears a little when the crowd laughs. “Especially since Shi--Midorima introduced me to Tomoyo-san just last month. I mean, I was expecting some kind of girl exactly like Midorima or something, but there she was! She showed up at the speed of light!”

 The audience laughs, and Kazunari smiles a little, for the sake of playing along.

 Kazunari continues on for a few minutes  about how Shin-chan’s hard to deal with, but he’s a good guy, and all that sap crap that actually makes him get a little sentimental, but what’s the point of getting sentimental over someone if you’re not going to see them again?

 “I got to know Tomoyo-san more, and I think that,” Kazunari takes a deep breath. The audience will probably assume that it’s too draw out anticipation, but in reality, he’s preparing himself. Mostly, his heart.

 “I think that they will both be happy with each other for a long time, and that-” He heaves a big sigh at this. “And that, there’s no one better. Best wishes to both of them, sincerely.” Kazunari finishes his speech with a nod. He walks off the stage with feigned confidence, but in reality, he feels like some sixteen year old girl who’s just finished confessing to the guy she likes.

Which, in this case, is similar to where he is now. Or at least, where he will be.

  _I really need to grow up_ , Kazunari thinks bitterly, as the audience disbands for food, and he just stands there, sighing.

 “Takao.”

 Kazunari turns around to see the person he expects. “Shin-chan!” Kazunari says with a smile(Always). “What can I do for you?”

  _Tomoyo-san must have went to get food_ , Kazunari thinks. Because Shin-chan’s newly wedded wife is nowhere to be seen.

 “I want to formally thank you,” Shin-chan says. “For saying all that. I know that you’re still upset about your dreams, and I do apologize, but I’m extremely thankful for your support and input in this.”

 Kazunari gives him a real smile. “That’s what friends are for, isn’t it?”

 Shin-chan nods stiffly, and Kazunari takes a big breath. If he wants to do it, he has to do it now. He won’t have any other chance to, especially with all their old teammates and Shin-chan’s future coworkers congratulating him.

 “Shin-chan,” Kazunari says softly. “You said you’ve never loved before, right?”

 “Yes,” Shin-chan says hesitantly. “Where are you going with this?”

 Kazunari waves it off. “Why must you think I’m going to tease you?”

 “Well, that’s because you--”

 “Well, I’m not planning on teasing you this time,” Kazunari says a little too serious, and from the corner of his eye, he can see Shin-chan narrow his eyes in suspicion. “I just want to ask you something.”

 Shin-chan nods. “Okay.”

 Kazunari pauses before asking the question. It seems awfully personal, but fuck it.

 “Do you think you’ll be happier with her than you were with me?”

 Shin-chan freezes. He doesn’t say anything for a while, and Kazunari swallows hard.

 “What exactly are you implying, Takao?” Shin-chan says, voice stiff, and Kazunari almost laughs because, damn, Shin-chan can actually perceptive when it comes down to things like this.

 “It’s…” Kazunari stops himself for a moment, asking himself if this is what he really wants. Does he really want to do this?

 Of course he does.

 “It’s exactly what you think it is,” Kazunari says simply, picking at some of the loose strings from his suit.

 Shin-chan’s eyes widen for a fraction of a second, but he recovers quickly. “I don’t think I quite get what you mean, Takao.”

 Kazunari laughs, and it sounds horrible. “I like you, Shin-chan. Oh no, that’s wrong. I fucking love you.”

 Shin-chan’s eyes widen for real this time, and his lips part. “What?” he says, incredulous.

 “You heard me,” Kazunari says, not sure where this sudden bravado has shown up from. “I’m in love with you. I have been for a while.”

 Shin-chan breathes deeply. “Why,” he says through gritted teeth. “Did you decide to tell me this now?”

 “Because I wanted to,” Kazunari attempts to say breezily. He’s never had trouble lying before, but he does now, and it’s a strange feeling, the sudden desire to be earnest.

 Shin-chan says nothing at this, and Kazunari tries to ignore the fact that his heart is pumping loudly, almost a ringing in his ears, and he hates it. His mind has already registered that this is not going to end well, but damn his heart for holding on, despite how broken it is already.

 Shin-chan’s not even looking at him, and when silence ensues, Kazunari sighs.

 “You don’t need to say anything. I wasn’t really expecting you to anyway.” He says this last part wobbly. Too wobbly for the teasing, oh so joyful Takao Kazunari.

 Shin-chan nods stiffly, and Kazunari lets out a soft, but very quiet sob.

 “Uhh, okay then, just--You know what?” Kazunari says, choking a little. “Forget I said anything, it’s not really anything.” And with that, he turns around, walking towards the exit with less weight on his feet than before.

 He almost leaves without a goodbye, but how could he ever forget.

 “I really do wish for the best for you,” Kazunari says out loud, not embarrassed anymore. It’s the last straw, and Kazunari feels nothing. “Good luck with Tomoyo, yeah?”

 He walks out the exit, and he breathes in deeply through his nose. He’s done it now, he really has, but it doesn’t matter, he’s leaving anyway.

 Miyaji told him that it was cowardly, to run away after making such a brave move like that. It’ll ruin your image, he remembers Miyaji says, but then he remembers that Miyaji doesn’t know shit either, and he keeps walking, in a straight line.

 When he gets in his car, he can’t get rid of the image of Shin-chan hunched over, lips pressed together, and eyes storming with emotions Kazunari can’t read.

 He can’t read Shin-chan.

 But it’s okay. Because he won’t need to anymore. Ever.

 

oOo

 

Cowardly or not, he knows that Shin-chan won’t ever find him again. It’s not that he doesn’t want Shin-chan to find him(every time his phone rings, he has this small hope that it is Shin-chan, and how he was wrong for marrying Tomoyo, and how the person he really wants to marry is-)

 He tells everyone to tell Shin-chan that he’s doing well, and that he doesn’t have to worry. He should focus on medical school after all, and looking after Tomoyo. It is cowardly, to just leave, but Kazunari feels that if he stays, everything he and Shin-chan have built over the past years will crumble apart.

 He doesn’t want to be a burden. Even worse, pitied. If Shin-chan has given up on their dream, Kazunari should give up on his too.

 

oOo

 

He plays basketball for a little, but he stops. He’ll find himself trying to hear Shin-chan’s voice that calls him to pass it to him, but it isn’t there. And even when he does pass to someone that isn’t Shin-chan, there isn’t always the satisfying ‘swoosh’ when the ball makes it in.

 (Half the time though, the ball doesn’t make it in. It makes Kazunari itch for Shin-chan again, which is very very bad.)

 It isn’t the same without Shin-chan, anyway.

 He doesn’t know if anything will ever be the same without Shin-chan.

 He ignores the mass texts from Miyaji.

 

oOo

 

Five years later, he ends up on the phone with Kuroko Tetsuya.

 “Takao-kun,” says Kuroko, soft and quiet, just like he remembered. “How are you?”

 Kazunari shrugs. “I’m doing well,” he says halfheartedly. “I have a part time job as a chef as a restaurant, and I’m teaching kids how to play basketball. Could be better, I guess.” He laughs at the last part, because he knows exactly what could make it better, but it’s really too fucking bad that it can’t happen.

 “In that case,” Kuroko says slowly. “How would you like to have a real job?”

 Kazunari freezes. He has to sit down before asking Kuroko, “What do you mean?”

 Kuroko sighs from the other side of the phone.

 “Come back to Tokyo, Takao-kun. Instead of teaching kids basketball, how do you feel about being the vice-principal at my kindergarten?”

 

oOo

 

Tokyo. Tokyo, just, _Tokyo_. That means...he’s going back home.

 That’s a lot to think about, especially since--

  _No. Don’t think about it._

 He tells Kuroko that he’ll think about it, and he does, for about a week. He thinks about how the apartments there are nicer, but there’s background noise almost all the time, and the streets get noisy, even at 2 am. There’s better food at where he is now, and he doesn’t want to think about leaving the friends he has made here, or the kids that he’ll have to say goodbye too, holding back tears because he has gotten attached.

 He’s been so much more happier here. He’s been starting to pick up Miyaji’s calls after getting a new phone, of course. There was only one ringtone on that shitty phone, and every time his phone rang, he kept thinking it was _him_.

 And yet, he still calls Kuroko back and says, yes, he’ll take the job.

 

oOo

 

He’s a bit nervous at the first day of the job. Kuroko interviewed him on the phone a few days after he confirmed that, yes, he would take the job. After weeks of packing and saying his watery goodbyes, he set off for Tokyo, the center of all the hurt.

 Which makes him reconsider whether this has been a good idea or not, but hey, since when has Kazunari actually stayed away from a bad idea?

 Yeah.

 But he’s here now, with his old basketball sweater and some worn out jeans. Kuroko has given him a name tag, and introduced him to all the kids, who Kuroko says he needs to watch very carefully, because sometimes, there’s a situation where that can only be solved if you have actually witnessed it.

 He hopes he doesn’t have to do much, but that thought immediately goes away when he hears a ear-splitting shriek from the other side of the playground. He sees a dark-haired boy with a pout on his face, and another boy(Hisame-kun, he faintly remembers.) on the floor, crying.

 He runs over, panic dropping onto his stomach. “What happened here?”  he demands, looking for any cuts, scrapes, bruises.

 Hisame, or Shou, as his first name, starts to cry. “T-” he stutters, tears flowing down his red cheeks. “Tobio pushed me!”

 The boy, Tobio, sniffs. “I did not push him,” he says, nose turned up stubbornly. “He was in the way, so I just moved him.”

 “You pushed me!” Shou screams, and Kazunari breathes in.

 “Tobio,” he says very slowly. “Did you push Shou-chan?”

 Tobio’s lips press together. “I did not.”

 “He did!” Shou cries. “He did, he’s lying! Tobio’s a liar!”

 Tobio says nothing at this, and looks at the ground.

 “Tobio,” Kazunari says. “I’ll say this one more time. Did you push Shou?”

 Tobio glares at Shou-chan, at him, and then at the floor. He’s silent for a few more seconds before muttering a small, almost inaudible, ‘yes’.

 “See?” Shou yells. “He did push me!”

 Tobio opens his mouth to retort, but Kazunari stops both of them before it gets worse. “Can one of you tell me what happened?”

 Shou sniffles. “I really wanted to play with Tobio,” he says with a sniffle. “I had a ball and everything, so we could play catch together. But he said he didn’t want to, and he told me to leave him alone. So I said that he looked really lonely and mad and sad and that’s why nobody wants to play with him, and that’s when he pushed me!”

 Tobio’s eyes flash with sudden understanding. “You…” he mutters. “You really wanted to play with me?”

 Shou wipes his tears with the front of his tee. “Yeah, but you pushed me! It really hurt you know. Look, I’m bleeding!”

 Kazunari’s breath stops in his throat, because, oh god, Shou-chan is right. On his elbow, there is a gash that’s dripping blood.

 “Shou-chan,” he says with a sigh. “Why didn’t you tell me you were hurt?”

 Shou starts tearing up again. “I don’t know,” he says with a wail. Kazunari sighs, and taking a pack of tissues from his pocket, starts wiping Shou’s eyes, so that the tears won’t make his t-shirt too wet. A wave of horror weaves into him when he hears another sniffle next to him, and he turns around to see Tobio crying too.

 Fuck.

 

oOo

 

“On your first day of the job, you managed to get two of the most attention-needing kids to listen to you,” Kuroko says with a small smile. “Congratulations, Takao-kun.”

 “Takao is fine,” Kazunari says with a wave. “Did we fix up Shou-chan?”

 “Yes, I took him with me to the office, and I have bandaged his scratch. Do not worry.”

 Kazunari lets out a sigh of relief, and he sits back in his chair. “That was so tiring,” he says, complaining, as Kuroko watches him with a sparkle of mirth in his eyes.

 "You dealt with them quite well, Takao,” Kuroko says. “I didn’t even have to come in there and rescue you.”

 Kazunari’s jaw drops open. “You knew?” he says, incredulous, and Kuroko smiles.

 “I wanted to see if you could deal with it,” Kuroko says, taking a sip of his tea. “And you did, so no problem, am I wrong?”

 Kazunari mutters a no, and he swears, he sees Kuroko smirk.

 

 oOo

 

Ever since his first day on the job, Tobio and Shou have been practically begging him to play with them. Their games consisted of basketballs, basketballs, and even more basketballs. In fact, that was all they ever played, and they could usually go for a while.

 Surprisingly, Tobio is good with shooting. He shoots, and it makes it in the basket, and for a second, Kazunari remembers Shin-chan, and how undoubting he was when it came to any of his shots, three-pointer or not.

Shou actually, is a beginner at basketball. He stumbles when dribbling, occasionally dropping the ball, and sighing when he attempts to shoot but it barely makes it half-way.

 But Shou-chan actually moves very quickly, and once, he even got away from Kazunari, which should’ve been near impossible because he’s been keeping in shape.

Despite their differences, Shou-chan and Tobio work well together. Ever since Shou broke it to Tobio that it’s him that he wanted to play with, they’ve been, well, inseparable. But, it makes Kazunari smile, seeing how well they work together, even if Shou-chan can’t properly receive a pass yet.

Kazunari eats lunch with them often. He sat by himself on the first day, but after the fight, Shou-chan and Tobio ran over and asked if they could eat with him. Of course, Kazunari agreed, because how could he ever say no to them?

But one day, he notices how simple Tobio’s lunch is.

It consisted of just rice with sesame seeds sprinkled on top. Occasionally, his rice would have some kind of rice topping on it, which Tobio would ask Kazunari to open for him. The container itself was moderately sized.

“Who makes your lunch, Tobio?” Kazunari asks, looking at it suspiciously. Today, instead of sesame seeds, it came with seaweed shavings.

Tobio looks up at him. “My dad,” he says, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

 “Not your mom?” Kazunari asks.

“My mom’s not at home,” Tobio says slowly. “She left.”

His jaw drops. “Sorry for asking.”

Tobio shakes his head. “It’s okay,” he says. “My dad does a good job looking after me.”

Kazunari smiles. “Your dad must work hard, huh?”

Tobio’s eyes shine. “He does! He does work really hard! He comes really late at night, and he has to leave early in the morning, so he drops me off here so Kuroko-sensei can watch me.”

Kazunari nods. “How do you get home? What about dinner?”

“He picks me up late. Kuroko-sensei stays here until he can pick me up.” Tobio thinks a bit before he answers the next question. “Rice is dinner,” he admits. “My dad doesn’t really cook.”

“Oh,” Kazunari says. “I could give your dad tips, if he wants some.”

“I can ask,” Tobio offers.

“Sure,” Kazunari says, smiling.

“Tobio,” Shou-chan says from across the table. “Ask your dad if I can come over sometime too!”

Tobio nods, grunting. “Okay. But Dad’s really busy all the time. Even on weekends.”

Kazunari blinks. “Tobio, maybe I should talk to your dad sometime.”

Tobio stares. “Sure…” he says. “But you have to stay here really late.”

Kazunari shrugs. “It’s okay,” he says. “I don’t have much to do at home anyway.”

“Kazu-sensei doesn’t have someone at home with him?” Shou-chan asks, eyes innocent. “My mom told me a lot of adults do, and you’re an adult.”

He smiles. “Not everyone. But if you want someone at home with you, it has to be someone you know very well.”

“Anyone you know well?” Shou-chan asks. “That means I could live with Tobio if I wanted.”

While Tobio flushes, Kazunari laughs. “No, you have to know them for a very long time. You have to be friends with Tobio for a long time, and you have to be very good friends with him.”

“I know Tobio already!” Shou-chan protests.

“I know,” he says, softly. “But even if you know someone for a long time, they have to want to be with you too. Sometimes, it doesn’t work. You have to ask yourself, ‘Do I want to be with this person forever?’, and if the answer is yes, you can try.”

“Did you try?” Tobio asks. “With the person you knew really well.”

Kazunari sighs. “Well, I wouldn’t count it as trying. I guess I did.”

“And they said no?” Shou shrieks. “Why?”

“Because,” he says firmly. “they wanted to be with someone else. It doesn’t work if only you wants to be with them forever.”

Shou starts to tear up. “Kazu-sensei…” he says, whimpering.

“Ahh, don’t cry,” Kazunari says, feeling a little guilty for telling them something so intense at this age. He snatches a tissue from his pocket(Kuroko recommended it to him, it’s getting really handy.), and gently wipes Shou-chan’s face. “Don’t be sad. I’m happy with you and Tobio.”

“You are?” Shou-chan says, glowing, and Tobio’s eyes widen with happiness.

“Yeah,” Kazunari says. “You guys make me happy.”

“We’ll make you happy for a really long time,” Shou-chan says with a squeal, and Tobio nods in agreement.

Kazunari smiles too.

oOo

“My dad should be here any moment now,” Tobio says, eyebrows scrunched from figuring out his latest math problem.

Kazunari nods. “Okay.”

But soon, the door opens, and Tobio drops everything and runs to the front. “Dad!”

Kazunari turns around with a smile on his face, with greeting on his tongue.

His smile disappears very fast.

It is replaced with lips pressed together in shock.

oOo

“You never told me Midorima was your last name, Tobio,” Kazunari says when he finally has the nerve to speak.

His dad coming late at night, his dad being busy, the too simple lunches, the basketball skills, who else could it be.

Kazunari couldn’t believe he had been so dumb. He had known that he was still in Tokyo, and yet, why didn’t he look closer?

Shin-chan-wait, _Midorima_ , seems shocked by the outcome as well.

“This was your teacher you’ve been talking about, Tobio?” Midorima says icily, and Kazunari shrinks a little.

“Your child is a very good kid,” Kazunari gets out, nodding his head. “I’ve just been a little bit concerned about his health-”

“Health?” Midorima interrupts, looking offended. “I think you know that I’m a doctor, Takao. Are you mocking me?”

Kazunari grows exasperated. “That’s not it,” he says, tiredly. “Tobio has been eating rice everyday for three weeks. As a doctor, you should know that a child’s main diet should consist of vegetables, fruits, and proteins, not just rice.”

“I don’t like green beans ,” says Tobio.

Midorima’s lips purse. “Well, as you know, since I’m a doctor, I am very busy.”

Kazunari didn’t want to ask this, but at this point he has no choice.

“Tell me what happened to Tomoyo,” Kazunari says.

Midorima narrows his eyes. “I believe that is family business, and you have no right to know.”

Kazunari sighs. He has definitely not missed this, that’s for sure.

“Well, he needs someone to take care of him,” he says, stubborn. “He can’t keep staying this late. He’s a kid!”

“Well then what do you suggest I do?” Midorima says with a scoff.

He can’t help it; he rolls his eyes. Midorima may be a big-shot doctor now, but in his mind, he will always be the spoiled, demanding…

He can’t find the right word for it, and he obviously can’t say partner anymore.

“You hire someone,” Kazunari says simply.

Midorima opens his mouth to respond, but Tobio jumps in before he can get a word in, which Kazunari is grateful for.

“Kazu-sensei should help us,” Tobio says, and the gratefulness turns into dread.

Kazunari laughs nervously. “Tobio, your father should choose the person who will be taking care of you.”

“Actually, I disagree,” Midorima says. “Takao, you take care of him, since you suggested it.”

“Is that a command or question?” Kazunari asks, and Midorima flushes, looking irritated.

“It is a statement,” Midorima says, and Kazunari snorts, because that was bullshit if he ever saw any.

“What will I be doing if I take care of Tobio?” Kazunari asks, half-joking, but of course, Midorima answers anyway.

“You will be waking him up at an appropriate time, make breakfast for him, take him to school-”

“All of that?” Kazunari says, affronted.

“Please?” Tobio says. “It'd be really cool!”

“I’d have to practically sleep there for all that to work,” Kazunari says, with narrowed eyes.

“I don’t have a problem with that,” Midorima says simply, and Tobio looks at him with wide eyes.

Kazunari shakes his head. “I’m not doing it.”

oOo

He ends up doing it.

He’s doing it for Tobio, and _only Tobio_.

Of course he’s not sleeping there, he has an apartment he paid for and everything.

“I’ll pay you twice the amount Kuroko does,” Midorima says.

Okay, maybe he’ll sleep there.

oOo

“You’re back,” Midorima says softly, once Tobio was asleep that night.

Kazunari nods. “Yeah. Kuroko offered me a job here, so I took it.”

“You were not satisfied with your previous position?”

He shrugs. “I liked it a lot, but I don’t know, taking care of kids is fitting. I took care of kids there, so it’s not like I don’t have experience.”

Midorima nods. “I see.”

“Did medical school work out for you?” Kazunari asks, trying to keep the conversation going by being polite and asking him how life has been for him.

Midorima curls his lip. “I’m a doctor, so yes, I am.”

“Congratulations,” Kazunari says. “I’m happy for you.”

Midorima is silent for a moment. “Are you really?” he says finally, looking at him in the eye, almost looking hurt.

“Well,” Kazunari says. “You’re successful, so you must be happy. Or at least, that’s what you last said...before…” He stops before he accidently steps on some sort of mental landmine.

In the end, he’s still bitter about Shin-chan having everything he wanted.

Well, he doesn't know where Tomoyo is, but Shin-chan won’t tell him anyway.

“I’m very happy with Tobio,” Shin-cha-- _Midorima_ says, stiffly.

Kazunari has no choice but to shrug. “Then that’s good.”

Midorima is silent for a few moments before responding.

“Indeed.”

oOo

The job hasn’t been as bad as he thought it would’ve been. Of course he isn’t going to actually stay at the place(Their house was huge, and it was tempting, but no.), so he usually wakes up early.

He usually has to bring his own food too. You can imagine the horror he got when he opened their refrigerator and saw nothing but fruits and seaweed.

You’re not even supposed to put seaweed in the refrigerator.

He complained at just the thought of this, and Midorima has offered him money to buy ingredients. Kazunari thought it would be like, fifty bucks or something, because that’s how much he usually spends, but no.

Midorima gave him two hundred freaking dollars.

Two hundred dollars to buy groceries.

“Just buy good quality groceries,” Midorima says. “There’s a supermarket nearby-”

“I know,” Kazunari says with a sigh. “You should come with me.”

Midorima frowns at this. “I am busy.”

“But you only know where seaweed and fruits are,” Kazunari protests. “I won’t be here on some days, and you’re going to have to fare for yourselves sometime. You might need to buy food on your own.”

Midorima crosses his arms. “I know where the meat section is.”

Kazunari rolls his eyes.

So he takes Tobio with him instead, accompanied by Shou, because now that Kazunari is their permanent babysitter, Tobio now has someone to watch him.

“Remember that this is where you get veggies,”  Kazunari says. “I’m going to tell you how to pick good pieces of vegetables, okay? That means, no bruises, no dark spots, and no mold. Do you know what mold is?”

Tobio and Shou shakes their heads, and Kazunari shows them.

Tobio’s the one who needs to know the most; there’s no helping his hopeless father anyway.

oOo

 

Tobio is usually awake by the time he comes to check up on him, and Kazunari decides to make eggs for his first day on the job.

“Something smells nice,” Tobio says, clambering down the stairs with his basketball in his hand.

“It’s breakfast,” Kazunari says, sliding him a plate of scrambled eggs with a bit of ketchup on the top. “Sorry it isn’t much.”

Tobio eats it anyway, with hunger gleaming in his eyes. “This is yummy,” he says.

Kazunari barely has time to say thanks before looking at the clock and wincing. “We’re going to be late. Ugh, and on the first day too, let’s go.”

Surprisingly, Tobio is already done with his breakfast. He pushes himself out of his chair, and walks to grab his backpack.

“I’m ready,” he says, and Kazunari can’t help but think that he has his father’s eyes.

“Ah, sorry, I zoned out there, didn’t I?” Kazunari says with a laugh, swinging his car keys on his pointer finger. “Let’s go to school.”

oOo

“Dad says he used to know you,” Tobio says, taking a careful bite into the onigiri Kazunari made for him that morning.

Kazunari sighs. There was no point in lying to him, anyway.

“We used to play basketball together,” Kazunari says.

“Were you any good?” Tobio asks, and Shou whacks him on the shoulder, saying that the way he said it was mean.

“I was good,” Kazunari says. “I was even better with your dad. We were partners.”

Tobio pouts. “I wish dad could play with me.”

Kazunari laughs. “Maybe, one day, if you ask. I’m sure he will if you ask him.”

Shou-chan raises his hand. “I want to play with Tobio too!”

“Sure, you can be there too.”

“Kazu-sensei?” Shou asks.

“Mhm?” Kazunari says.

“You should play with Tobio’s dad again,” he points out, eyes gleaming. “We can be on teams that way.”

Kazunari laughs, despite himself. “Maybe.”

“No maybe! Yes!” Shou presses, jumping in his seat.

“Ask your father, Tobio,” Kazunari says.

“Well, what about you, Kazu-sensei?” Shou asks.

“Maybe,” Kazunari admits. “Tobio’s dad is very busy, and he might think it’s a waste of time. He’s a very famous doctor, you know?”

(It’s not like Kazunari looked him up on Google or anything.

Okay, fine, he did, but he stopped after like, a minute, because he started feeling terrible about how much Midorima has accomplished, and how little Kazunari has.

Well, he can always make himself feel better knowing that Midorima can’t cook for shit, so.)

“We’ll ask,” Shou says.

Kazunari shakes his head, laughing, trying to get rid of the horrible feeling that’s welling inside his chest.

oOo

 

Kazunari opens the door to the Midorima household at seven in the morning, only to suddenly whiff a burning scent.

Coming from the kitchen.

Holding in a shriek of terror, Kazunari flings off his shoes, and runs into the kitchen, only to find Midorima, with a frying pan.

That is currently on fire.

“What are you doing?” Kazunari says with a shriek. “Put it down!”

Midorima’s eyes are lit up with fear as he moves towards the sink.

“No, don’t-” Kazunari says, but it’s too late, Midorima drops the flaming pan into the water-filled sink, and the kitchen goes up in smoke. His jaws are dropped as he can hear the faint beeping of the smoke detector sounding.

“I thought you had work,” Kazunari says, with a sigh and widened eyes.

Midorima looks away. “I took the day off. I wasn’t feeling well yesterday. And I thought I might make Tobio breakfast…”

Kazunari raises his eyebrows and looks around, kitchen in entire disarray.

“I’m going to have to clean all this up, aren’t I?” he says flatly, sighing.

Midorima glares. “I’ll be assisting you,” he insists, folding his arms around his chest.

Kazunari thinks he might as well start.

**  
**  


oOo

“What were you trying to make anyway?”

“...Eggs.”

“You were trying to make eggs, and this happened?”

“Shut up, Takao!”

In the end, Kazunari teaches him how to make eggs, and Midorima has a hard time with it at first, but after maybe five eggs, he’s somewhat decent, and Kazunari just hopes that there isn’t a near catastrophe like today in the future. **  
**

**  
**  


oOo

One day, when Kazunari comes home with Tobio, he’s surprised to find Midorima on the couch, burrowed with blankets, and tissues thrown astray all over the place.

“What happened?” Kazunari asks, walking next to him with a trash can, just in case.

Midorima seems to look upset. “It seems that I have caught a cold.”

Kazunari snickers a little at this because what kind of doctor can’t even cure his own cold?

Midorima seems to read his thoughts, because he turns the other way, scoffing.

“I’ve been at work too late these past days, and I’ve been living on about three hours of sleep,” Midorima says.

“What about dinner? I always leave some for you in the microwave.”

Midorima is silent, and Kazunari gapes.

“What have you been eating?! No, wait, what have you been doing with the food I always leave you?”

“I eat it in the morning,” Midorima says with gritted teeth, and Kazunari groans.

“Do you need me to take care of you?” Kazunari says slowly.

He can hear the scowl, even though he can’t see it. “No.”

“I think you do.”

“I do not.”

“If you think you can take care of yourself, you’re wrong,” Kazunari points out. “You could barely hold on before. Let me help before you over-heat, idiot.”

Midorima mutters something close to a ‘fine’, and Kazunari manages to persuade him to stand up and walk to his room, because if he stays down here tonight, he’ll get worse.

“What about Tobio?” Midorima says with a rasp, as Kazunari drops him on the bed.

“I’ll drop him off tomorrow, and come back,” Kazunari says simply, standing up straight before walking away. “I’ll bring him back too, and make dinner.”

He starts to walk away, but he hears a muttered ‘thank you’, and Kazunari smiles a little.

**  
**  


oOo

He has no choice but to stay here for tonight. He wakes up sporadically, getting up to check on Midorima to make sure he was okay. He made sure Midorima drank a lot of water, and was breathing evenly before going back to bed, only to wake up an hour later, to do it all over again.

That morning, at eight am, he wakes up, jostles Tobio, makes breakfast, and checks on Midorima to make sure he was still asleep before leaving the house.

He drops Tobio off, waving an amused Kuroko off after telling him the shorter version of the story.

Once he gets back into the Midorima household, he sees Midorima sitting at the foot of the stairs, breathing heavily.

Kazunari shrieks.

“What are you doing? You’re supposed to be in bed!” Kazunari exclaims, shaking his shoulders.

“I woke up, and I called your name, but you  didn’t--so I just,” Midorima says panting. “I went down the stairs, but I sat down and couldn’t get back up…”

Kazunari sighs, feeling a small stab of guilt, and pulls Midorima up with him. “Let’s get you back to bed.”

Midorima's response is a fit of coughing.

oOo

Midorima seems to have a fever. It’s not as bad as Kazunari feared it might be, only 101 degrees. Based on how Midorima had been pushing himself, Kazunari feared that an IV drip might be needed, but he realizes that he might’ve been just a tad bit paranoid. An IV drip was a little too much.

But he places a cooling pack on Midorima’s forehead, and lets him have water little by little.

“More,” Midorima rasps, grabbing at the cup.

“You’ll get sick if you drink it all at once,” Kazunari says simply, and pulls the cup away. “I’ll give you another sip, but don’t take a big one.”

Midorima nods, and grabs the cup with shaking hands, only to attempt to take a huge chug. Kazunari notices this and snacthes it from his grasp once Midorima has received a good amount of water.

“I’m going to make porridge,” Kazunari says. “And I’m going to place the water next to you. Don’t drink too much. I trust you, okay?”

Before he can respond, Kazunari closes the door with a small ‘click’.

oOo

Kazunari makes simple porridge with bits of chicken and green onion inside. He also makes lemon tea, something his mother always made him whenever Kazunari went under the weather. It was simply hot lemonade, except the sugar was replaced with honey.

He goes up with a bowl of porridge and a mug of lemon tea in hand, careful not to spill. He opens the door with his shoulder. “Shin-chan?” he calls out.

There’s no answer, but Kazunari didn’t expect an answer anyway. He walks in, only to find Shin-chan’s shoulders rising and falling.

 _Is he sleeping?_ Kazunari thinks as he shakes Shin-cha- _Midorima’s_ shoulder gently. “Midorima?”

Midorima sighs, and turns around, sniffing. “Takao?” he whispers, sounding horrible. “I couldn’t reach for the water.”

“I’ll help you,” Kazunari offers, and places down the bowl of porridge. “But here, drink this first.”

“What’s this?” Midorima says, wrinkling his nose.

“Lemon tea,” Kazunari says, bringing the edge to his lips. “It’ll help with your fever. Vitamin C and all.”

Midorima looks at him, and then back at the cup. He continues to stare at it strangely before taking a small sip. “Thanks,” he mumbles, and Kazunari smiles a little.

“Here’s the porridge. Do you want me to feed it to you?” Kazunari teases.

Midorima’s lip curls. “I’m glad you’re not too worried about me, considering you are poking fun at me.”

Kazunari snorts, giving him a spoon filled with porridge. “Here,” he offers.

Midorima’s eyes narrow. “Are you trying to mock me?” he says with an accusing tone.

Kazunari laughs. “Of course not,” he says. “Here,” he says, waving the spoon a little, as if to taunt him a little. Midorima glares, but he doesn’t look Kazunari in the eye as he eats it, swallowing absently.

“You don’t have to do this for me,” he mutters, burrowing into the covers and Kazunari shrugs.

“It’s what friends and family are for,” Kazunari says simply. “Well, I mean, I’m not your family, but, I guess I can be a friend.”

Midorima is silent for a moment. “Friends…?” he says hesitantly.

Kazunari nods. “Sure,” he says. “If that’s how you want to look at it. I mean, I can’t be family, so.” 

Midorima sighs. “Tomoyo left.”

“Why?” Kazunari asks, pretending he’s not curious because of the sudden topic change, but damn it, he is.

“Well, I had to work all the time, and she didn’t like the idea of just staying at home, being a housewife. She wanted to do other things. And by other things,” Midorima’s eyes darken a bit. “I mean that she left. She’s probably with another man.”

“Oh,” Kazunari says. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you guys. That’s what you were aiming for, right? A family, while being successful in someway.” While saying this, he brushes some of the hair drenched with sweat off Midorima’s forehead.

Midorima closes his eyes for a bit, then, he suddenly opens them and stares at him, looking dazed. Kazunari stares back. “What?” he says.  
****

Shin-chan seems to jerk out of his thought process, shaking his head “It’s nothing.”

“Okay,” he says simply. “Recover fast, yeah?”

He turns to leave, but  Shin-chan says something else.

“We should play basketball after I recover properly,” Shin-chan says, softly, so softly that Kazunari almost couldn’t hear.

“What?” Kazunari says, shock filling him.

“I’m not saying it again,”Shin-chan says, stubborn. “But, Tobio asked me if we could…”

Kazunari thinks it over for a moment. “Sure,” he says. “But when you recover.”

Shin-chan nods. “I’ll be waiting then.”

Kazunari nods too, and when he closes the door, he slides down the wall, feeling hot for some reason.

oOo

Once Shin-chan recovers, he stays true to his word. They do play, even though Kazunari notices that Shin-chan has lost a bit of his touch. Shin-chan seems to realize this, and scowls every time his shots don't make it, which isn’t too often.

“I haven’t touched a basketball in a while,” Shin-chan mutters, glaring at the ground, as Shou-chan and Tobio are off on the playground, with ice cream in their hands. It doesn’t take long for Kazunari to notice that Shin-chan’s actually just embarrassed.

Kazunari shakes his head. “Practice is all you need, really,” he says, dribbling the basketball a little. He has had dreams about playing basketball with Shin-chan again, but it doesn’t feel the same.

Shin-chan scowls. “Practice might not fix it,” he says.

Kazunari shoves at him gently. “I’m still your partner,” he says, jokingly. “I’ll pass to you every time, always, forever if you want to.”

Shin-chan’s eyes widen, then pushing his glasses back up, flustered. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Kazunari says, easy. “And you can blame me if the pass doesn’t hit your hand the right way, but I’ve been practicing, unlike someone.”

Shin-chan scowls, and Kazunari grins.

“Let’s try it then,” Kazunari says, and Shin-chan nods, readying himself.

The ball in Kazunari’s hand dribbles, and he shoots out his hand, the ball flying. It fits perfectly into Shin-chan’s palm, and he only watches as the ball lands into the basket with a swoop.

Shin-chan looks at him, eyes glowing a bit, and Kazunari sniffs.

“Wasn’t so bad, was it?” Kazunari says. “You still have some of that skill in you, see?”

Shin-chan says nothing, but he strides forward until he is suddenly much more closer. “Only because of you,” he says a little breathy, and Kazunari takes a step back.

He laughs nervously. “What are you doing?” Kazunari asks, voice shaking a little, but Shin-chan clasps Takao’s hand.

“Your hands feel the same,” Shin-chan mutters, and Kazunari rips his own hand out of Shin-chan’s grip.

“Stop that,” Kazunari says, blood rushing to his cheeks, and Shin-chan flinches.

“You don’t want it?” Shin-chan asks, sounding hurt, and Kazunari sighs heavily, exasperated. 

"You said you didn't want it a long time ago," Kazunari says, looking down on the ground in shame. "You can't just--change your mind!"

"Well, I have," Shin-chan mutters, looking away.

"You and I," Kazunari says, quiet, too quiet. "I thought this was already done."

It's a horrible feeling, and it wells back up again, and Kazunari thought that he wouldn't ever need to feel this way anymore, but recently, he has discovered that he is really bad at keeping promises to himself.

“It can’t,” Kazunari says, lips pressed together. “We can’t be together.”

“Why not?” Shin-chan demands softly.

“We just can’t.”

“Why not?”

Kazunari rolls his eyes. “Because you want to have a family! That’s what you've always wanted. And you still want it, don’t you?”

“I already have it,” Shin-chan says, sounding very genuine, and it is now Kazunari’s turn to stare in shock. “I have you. I apologize...No, I’m sorry, Kazunari. I’m sorry for not realizing earlier. Please don’t go. Stay. With us.”

Kazunari didn’t realize that his face could go any redder, but it just did. “But--”

Shin-chan leans in close. “I’m going to kiss you now,” he says, sounding stuttery, and Kazunari splutters.

“Wait, uhm-” Kazunari says, nervous and shaking, but he feels something soft crash into his chin, and he reels back, almost falling.

He stares at Shin-chan, who’s not looking at him, probably feeling self-conscious.

“I hope you accept my feelings,” Shin-chan says, teeth gritted. “And...I didn’t realize how you really felt until-”

“Oh my god, Shin-chan, please shut up,” Kazunari whispers hoarsely, and Shin-chan only has time to stare at him in complete and utter shock as Kazunari grabs the front of his shirt, stands on his tiptoes, and presses his lips against Shin-chan’s pliant ones.

Shin-chan moves his lips against his, slow and soft. It’s like this for a while, and they break away, panting unevenly. Shin-chan glances back down at Kazunari’s lips and they jolt back together, the kiss more desperate and hot. Kazunari curls his hands into Shin-chan’s hair, and Shin-chan places his hands on Kazunari’s waist, and it gets so overwhelming, Kazunari just wants more and more and more.

They break away for the last time, and Kazunari must will his hands to not wander in places where they should not be.

“Wow,” Kazunari says with a choked voice.

“Wow indeed,” Shin-chan says, panting, cheeks flushed, eyes blown with desire.

Kazunari can’t help but drown in them.

**  
**  


oOo

It was an understatement to say that Takao Kazunari was infatuated with Midorima Shintarou.

 Well, Kazunari wouldn’t say that he’s just, so, so, so in love with Shin-chan, and that he’d want to do all those kind of sappy things with him, like holding hands, and giving him hugs, and cuddling, and all that gross stuff that he can’t help but daydream about sometimes.

But he doesn’t need to daydream about it anymore. He doesn’t need to flee a hundred miles away from Tokyo to stop thinking about it. He doesn’t need to baby-sit a kid, and pretend that he’s not in love anymore.

He doesn’t need to do any of that.

Because it’s real. Kazunari has it. It might not be the orange, shiny court like Kazunari imagined, but with Shin-chan’s warmth next to him, Tobio’s small smiles and Shou-chan’s big ones, he wouldn’t ask for anything more.

 

extra:

 

"Kazu-sensei is moving in with us?" Tobio says with wide eyes.

Shin-chan nods while Kazunari smiles.

"But, how come Kazu-sensei doesn't need to bring his bed?" Tobio says, and Shin-chan blushes at this while Kazunari grapples for an explanation.

"I think I told you before," Kazunari says with a grin. "Your father and I are very good friends."

Kazunari gives Shin-chan a wink, and he splutters.

 

He really would not have it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> //laughs nervously!! so i got this idea from this drabble i found on tumblr? it's basically about how takao confesses through a letter at midorima's wedding...if you could link that to me, that'd be great!


End file.
